Any Advice?

[Lovelyp]

I think here the focus shldnt not be about getting rid of the OM because that isn't the problem. The issue is your wife s weakness and her cheating. This is not to blame the cheating on your shortcomings but having unmet needs is one of the reason. When you say once that you are willing to work on needs and tell her you are willing to forgive snd work on your marriage she can think abt it and you detach. when she feels like she is loosing you and she still loves you that may force her to wake up and choose. If they feel like you are going to be waiting around and taking her bs she can continue with both the other man and you