Any Advice?

[gw5263]

Sandi,

I've had some time to sit and digest everything thats been said and the advice i have been given. I know i have gone about this in all the wrong ways. Like i said, i hope its not to late to turn it around. I understand what you and 25 have told me. I know what i need to begin doing now.

It just seems like an insurmountable obstacle right now, because she refuses to end the affair, says she loves him, and wants to have a life with him because he is providing all the emotional needs she was not getting from me. During the course of finding out, I have made significant changes, which are lasting. I now need to start doing as you have advised.
I have looked at my behavior and the factors i have contributed to this mess. I had an issue with drinking, and i did not meet her emotional and physical needs for a time. She never told me there was an issue until i discovered the A. I began that day to make changes for the good, and have kept them up. I did go through a lot of the begging and pleading phases , i was an up to this point the weak guy you described. I got caught up obsessing about the OM, and decided he was the problem, the reason i couldnt get through to her.

I see now i ws wrong. I was the reason i couldnt get through to her, because i was actually pushing her farther and farther away. I became obsessed with details, i needed all the info i could find. I didnt know what i was doing. I made EVERY mistake you said not to in your threads. I drove her farther away. Now i have to regain what little ground i had and try to press on. I appreciate all the advice from all of you, and plan to put it in practice ASAP. If you have any further advice please help me out. I am a willing and ready to listen pupil......