Still here. Still not detached... (Part 2)

[Chris73]

After this happened a few times I looked her in the eyes and said, "You don't HAVE to do this. We can put the breaks on and try to find another way to make us both happy." But she didn't respond. I don't know why I always feel the need to remind her that I don't want to get divorced. Sometimes I think she forgets because I'm being so compliant with the divorce arrangements

I'm sorry, I have got to add something here. This is completely wrong and backwards in your thinking. I think this is one more piece of proof that you need to tackle your MNG issues (which you obvi avoided responding to my post entirely about). She absolutely, more than 100%, knows that you don't want a divorce. This is part of the problem, Chris! I might be wrong (and I'll admit that I have lost track of your thread) but are you not the poster that challenged the DB philosophy and wanted to friend her back into the M? (more MNG behavior that does not work). You kept it up and she still left, right?

Look, I am not suggesting you play games, but until you actually DROP THE ROPE and your W thinks she has lost you waiting around, that you have had enough of her BS, and that you are moving right along in life without her, she will not for one moment look back at you as an option! She doesn't respect (or want to be with) a man that she can walk all over and out on (him and his family) and then he sits there telling her to please don't leave me! So all of her tears and waterworks--while she may actually feel sadness or may just be manipulating you--are still not indications that she wants to be M to you or wants to come back. These are 2 entirely different things that you have got to separate. Her sadness does not translate into her wanting you!

Sorry for the 2*4. You have been here awhile, but you do not want to accept what people have been telling you. Why? ... And sorry if you are the wrong Chris and I am off about that. If so, kindly strike that and carry on :-)

Blu

No Blu. You've got the right guy and I appreciate the 2 x 4. It means that you actually care enough to take the time to hit me with it

I didn't respond to your post about the MNG book simply because there were a lot of responses on my thread that I was catching up on that day. And I had addressed the MNG book and syndrome several pages back.

You're also correct that I didn't follow the advice from the vets on the board a year ago. I was getting info and advice from many different sources (this board being one of them) and I honestly felt that the approach I was taking in trying to reconnect with her was a good one and to a certain extent promoted by the DB coaches who work with MWD.

But you're right, things got worse and she pulled further away. And I came back to the board, hat in hand, ready for the onslaught of "I told you so"s, but people have been very accepting.