Any Advice?

[Parkema]

Hi gw5263,

Please read Sandi’s thread on WW it’s a real eye opener.

I’m responding here as your situation interests me and my original post. The situation you find yourself in IMHO is classical limerence and I’m afraid you need to understand where this is going.

Again take it or leave it BUT limerence is real and I continue to see its effect throughout these boards.

Limerence basically has three stages –
1. Infatuation – the WS is under the spell of his/her AP, they literally can’t help themselves.
2. Crystallisation – the phase that starts the bonding period and where god himself is the enemy IF he were to get in their way. DON’T GET IN THEIR WAY.
3. Deterioration – the phase where cracks start to appear. < Should give you hope…

There is scientific evidence about this, I’m sure if you look at the above you could guess where your WW is in the cycle.

What I worry about in your posts is that you’re concentrating too much on what your WW is doing, this isn’t helping you. She/they can’t be controlled the process has to happen BUT you can escalate the timeframe…

Drop her, let her go work on you and your children if you have any. In-house separation wow how hard is that! Once I found out about my WW A I asked her to move out of the FH, she blatantly refused and the atmosphere for my kids and I was EXTREMELY TOXIC, I had no choice but to move out which I did within a month of BD and to be honest if she were not to move out this is the best alternative for my own sanity. I’m always given 2x4’s here about that but had to protect the kids and I mentally.

You need to detach, I’m sorry if you’ve heard it before but it’s so important. Going dark and allowing the process to happen whilst going out and enjoying the time she’s giving you will help tremendously, use the gift you’ve been given.

Forget about her it’s hard I know and almost impossible whilst in the same house but this will help you to better manage the situation and keep away from their madness. Let them suffer, it won’t seem it initially but with time and patience she may come to realise the grass isn’t any greener.

Live in hope.

Mark.