I look at gingers comment earlier in this thread and can see that when some people are pushed into a corner, like her, with depression, a child to look after and job to uphold, she pushed through the hurt and pain to create a better life for herself. This is exactly the right frame of mind to have and the ONLY way to succeed when we are faced with such adversity.
No excuses or reasons why - Just a fight back to the life she wanted. Nothing would keep her down.
IMO LC has now fell into the - I'm a 'depressed person' - That’s my identity now. I have no power.
The problem is when people fall into the 'no power' game. Its easy to do this as the person takes no responsibility for their situation and would rather spend time and efforts researching the reason why, rather than living in the moment, accepting what is, and moving on regardless. What they fail to realise that irrelevant or not if they have the best excuse in the world.. It is still NO excuse for not living the life you want to live. The clock will keep on ticking regardless and its another day wasted focusing on reasons why and the only person who loses is LC.
Cant sleep / no energy / no passion = Fight through it, get up and make something happen.
Or take the easy route (give up) and blame something for feeling that way.
A few posts ago he were told this :
Originally Posted By: lcause
Thanks. It really was a flip of a switch. And reframing let me see how many positives this has. I'm not a match with this woman and I now believe I've been depressed due to our R. So it is better for both of us.
As he states above he believes the relationship MADE him depressed. So was it the chemical imbalance or was it the relationship? - Either way its once again pointing fingers away from himself.
I asked for factual information yesterday. But I received abuse back because it challenged his belief system. LC you seem to have gone from someone who is struggling to get out of bed until 4pm in the afternoon, to someone who is now a brain chemistry expert with no factual evidence to back this up. Once again as per your previous threads, it very much seems like you are trying to convince us/yourself of why you are feeling down - rather than putting in the hard effort required to heal because you get no pleasure from it.
Your reasoning is "I get no rewarding feeling from doing things that other people do" - are you an expert on the brain chemistry of others now?.. How do you know what others feel when they do something? - Is it not a possibility that people have felt similar to you and battled through the periods of no joy, until things have started to turn around?. How much chemicals are released in my brain when I started here? You have no idea - but still you think your situation is different - because it gives you a 'valid' reason to stay in the hole you are in.
You are giving people advise on other threads, about how bad it is to jump into another relationship straight away, and then on this thread you try to convince us that you have done more research that actually suggests a few random relationships will actually help the healing process. You are giving advise one way and then completely doing something different yourself, which others on here have already picked you up for.
LC you are so wrapped up in your own "story of me" and how this affliction you have is causing your brain to rob you of all of the pleasures in life that have convinced yourself that you have no choice/option/hope.
What it seems you want is people to feel sorry for you, while you go onto other peoples threads and give them advise that you are not following yourself.
Your posts jump from "I'm happy now I have learned about reframing", "I want to start acting" etc.., then it all changes a few days later and your back to square one and you cant even get out of bed and nothing makes you happy anymore, when a few days earlier you were saying you have never felt more alive and positive about the future.
There are people taking time out of their busy day to offer help and advise in the hope that it helps someone improve their situation.
Why don't you actually stop jumping from one idea to another, i.e. uni, acting, reframing, neurotransmitters etc.. Etc.. And just get back to basics.
Piece of paper and write down some goals and be honest with yourself and write down the steps it will take to reach of those goals and follow it through? - without blaming or pointing fingers at 'how hard it is' or 'how tired you are'?
In conclusion, if you want to a totally honest view on something you can get it if you really want it. i.e. You might think your diet is ok.. But a look the mirror will tell you how good it actually is - the muffin top says otherwise. Now its time to diet.
In relation to your life at the moment from the information you have given us; you don’t live in your own home, you have a job you don’t like, you don’t like spending time with friends and the mother of your children is with other man. That’s the factual (none judgemental) situation you are in.
Without blaming dopamine or depression, ask yourself why you are were you are.
This certainly might not be the helpful post you require as it doesn’t allow you to continue to wallow- But I know for a fact this is the approach that was given to me by other Vet members on this board, and despite the tears and lack of reward system in my brain I battled through and am very glad I did so. So I know the approach works.
Take it or leave it because its your life you are the one that feels powerless and depressed.
