Any Advice?

[sandi2]

Ive been reading your posts and think that 180, detachment, and GAL is the way to go ,

Yes, I hope you will.

She has this narrative she sticks to about emotionally separating from me before talking to OM, which i dont buy.

Maybe she felt emotionally empty and is now calling it "emotionally separated".........but it is her way of justifying her affair. As much as she wants to make excuses for herself, and wants you to take responsibility for her decision to have an A.........you are to never own it. No matter how much you think doing so would make it easier to reconcile later.......it just leaves you with an unremorseful WW. It's very important that a wayward W takes responsibility for her own decisions, b/c it helps pave the way to feelings of remorse. As long as she blames you....she is not remorseful.

She will accuse you and rewrite history. And now that you have reported OM........she says she hates you, b/c she is furious, so buckle up and put on your helmet.

She told me that all the fighting for us and asking for chances was pushing her farther away. Today she told me that all the effort i attempted to put in to save us actually drove her way past the point of working on us. She forgets that i saw her texts to OM before the Separation telling him she wanted a life with him and not me .

You were putting effort in the wrong ways and it causes a man to be unattractive to his W.........especially a wayward one. Women are attracted to a man with b@lls. If he loses his b@lls, she loses the attraction.

Are you living In-house separation? If so, why? So she can rub it in your face? So far, I only know of one reported case where in-house was successful, and that happened for one reason. The guy finally got his b@lls back and was completely ready to dump her, and that quickly motivated her to get her act together. She knows he means what he says, and she is walking the straight & narrow, so far. Women can tell when you are dumping them.....and when you are faking it. So be legit. There are many testimonials
from men who say in-house separation is soul crushing. I believe it is b/c she can continue having her A and pretty much anything else she wants to do. If you say something, she'll scream that you are S, and yet.......she gets full benefits of being in the M.

This A is strange to me because they have seen each other physically 2 times.

Many H's focus importance on the physical side to an affair. But emotional affairs are extremely powerful......especially for women. The OM feeds her emotional needs, while you take care of her physically. I've seen women leave their M to fly across the country to be with a guy they have never met in person! So, the fact they have had only two times for sex, does not delute the damage A's can do.

If you will read my threads on the WW, it will save me from repeating myself......plus I took more time to break it down in those threads than I can do in a couple of posts. In the meantime remember this.........a WW wants it all. The nice home, nice benefits, the kids, H to take care of her......plus the thrill of her affair. Go read my threads on the WW mindset, and maybe you will see why you are confused.