Any Advice?

[gw5263]

I'm just so frustrated right now. This entire A is over a phone. Physical contact twice in 7 months, and she professes love for him and wants a life with him. I have no consequences she can face . She will not leave thehome without the kids, and i wont let her take them where ever she pleases. She cannot go to him, so here we are. I can file for D, but that takes time here, and truly, I dont want to file, i want to keep my family intact and get my wife back from basically her phone..... Detachment and 180 is a start but i cant help but feel i need to do more. I feel like a dog chasing its tail. I can drop the bomb on OM but it will cause serious issues between her and I and i have kids in the middle to worry about. I know shes manipulating the sitch right now regarding him being turned in. My son heard OM tell my wife Sunday on facetime to do something to stop me from truning him in. She tried yesterday by saying she would never R or even attempt to work on us if i did because he is innocent in all this, and because i tried hard when we first separated to convince her to come back and told her how much i loved her. This may or may not be a bluff, who knows. Gut says its a bluff to get me to take the heat off. Im Just confused about it all. Be so much easier if OM wasactually here where she could easily run to him. But this phone crap is a mess. I dont know where to start. She is nice as hell to me as long as i dont bring up anything about the A. Talks to me just like it was 9 months ago and this never happened.