Doodler, no need to apologize for the innuendo. You're so good at it - I hope you've been able to parlay it into some kind of advantage in your life smile

Thanks for the advice. Taking time is hard. I do feel myself getting impatient, wanting to move on and escape the pain.

On being cold, I do realize that I was somewhat "emotionally unavailable" for parts of my MR. I'm not sure if that's because of who I am or how I reacted to my STBXW. In any case, it's something I need to improve on. My current sitch makes it so hard. I can't really try out the new me with her. I have a new set of tools, but all I'm presented with now is rotten wood.

Me-47,XW-43
S13,S16
M:18
BD:4-23-17
W filed:7-17-17
(5 months of in-house separation hell)
W moved out:1-6-18
D granted:2-15-18
Decree signed:3-29-18

Your future is out there. Go find it.