Still here. Still not detached... (Part 2)

[Chris73]

It sounds as if you believe Divorce is the solution. Is that how you feel now?

Frankly I don't know what to believe anymore. I can easily list many great things about our relationship from the past. But the key word here is "past".

I think I've been very clear throughout this process that I don't want to get divorced, but she keeps pushing for it. I have no desire to speed up the process because I think she needs more time to work out her problems. But I can't be obstinate and try to delay the process either. The more I dig in my heels, the more it angers her and the more likely she will be to file on her own.

If she came to me tomorrow and said she wanted to try again, I'd be at a loss for how to react. There so much work to do and so much hurt to get over. Sometimes I think that I could put the past aside if she really wanted to work on it, but other times I feel like too much damage has been done. I realize this is assuming a lot, but I can't ever envision a day when she swallows her pride and approaches me with true remorse and a desire to fix things. It's just not her MO. I think she'd rather leave it all behind, unresolved, and focus on something new.

So we can't go back to the way things were. But we can't move forward until we're out of each other's lives. How do you DB this? What else is there to do but GAL?

I feel happier when she's not around and I feel optimistic about my life without her. I enjoy my free time, and my time alone with the kids. I have a lot to look forward to without her.

BUT... I would never have chosen this path for our lives. How do I continue to stand for my marriage while at the same time find a way to accept the reality of divorce, heal and move on...?