Don't use that information as leverage. You will only push her further underground with her communications with him. You threatening her won't get her back or to stop talking to the OM.

If you use that as a threat she will call your bluff. So you are going to have to pull the trigger either way. Tell her what she cant do is not setting a boundary.

A boundary is, her doing something to you that violates you.

The only way to have a chance to get your wife back is get your respect and act like the man you are.

She will feel your hesitation. And she will see your reluctance. IMO you are trying not to make her hate or mad at you. No matter what you do, she will have anger towards you.

M:37 W:37
T:11 M:10
S17, S13, S10, S4
BD:06/28/17
OM confirmed 07/20/17
Recon the M 10/29/17
Working hard:2gether

Onward and forward

This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.