> Let me ask, when you do all this stuff for other people, if you didn't get praise, but you made a difference, would you still do for others?
Yes. I frequently do it. Each and every day at work. I enjoy doing it, random acts of kindness. Say I just take 1-2 minutes of someone else's work and do it for them. I don't have any rush and I'm quick at my job. So I have time to help. I don't expect to get words back each and every time. I'm fine if I hear the appreciation SOMETIMES. I do feel that they are more "open" towards me because of that. And just "wow, thanks" is enough to make me feel super happy about it. I make people laugh with silly stuff too. Sometimes I just buy something for people. E.g. donuts. I do all crazy stuff.
Yes. I know it's instant gratification. Not really, our brains are wired to receive massive dopamine spikes from something really hard (e.g. hunting for food and finally getting it). The modern life just destroys us mentally.
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
