Finding my way out of the dark - Part 4

[Holding]

I've been thinking about the stages of grief. I've read that bargaining comes after anger, although I know the stages aren't necessarily sequential. What would the bargaining stage look like for us? I kinda feel like I've already been through bargaining, immediately after BD, when I tried to do all the things to show my STBXW how much I wanted her and our M.

Last night my STBXW quickly informed me she'll need knee surgery (again, it's a recurring problem), and she'd get a female friend to take her to the appointment. At first I just responded "ok". But I realized I did actually feel bad for her. And as my anger's cooled off, I can see how I've treated her very cold ever since she said she decided on D. This cold person is not who I want to be.

So a few minutes later when she came back in the room, I said "Hey, even with everything going on between us, I do feel bad for you." She didn't respond, but I didn't really say it expecting any response from her. I said it so I could feel good about myself.