What to Do? 3

[Parkema]

Hi Chris,

You have the guru on your side, we all love Sandi.
If like me and you’ve been advised by Sandi you will see a constant in her posts about the Mr Nice Guy Syndrome MNG, I’m sure Sandi will straighten me out BUT basically in my case my WW shows/showed little respect for me if any and this in turn made her belittle me to the point of where she felt too good for me and obviously looked elsewhere. I’m not suggesting you are a MNG but have posted here a list I researched regarding the subject.

Obviously I agree with the rest on detaching and NC BUT have a slight tint on communication with WW which I won’t go into here.

Take from the below what you think is useful, hope it helps.

“NICE GUY” SYNDROME.

1. If it frightens you, do it. Don’t allow WW to dictate what you do based on the response you’re likely to receive AFTER you’ve done it.
2. Don't settle. Every time you settle, you get exactly what you settled for.
3. Put yourself first.
4. No matter what happens, know you will handle it.
5. Whatever you do, do it 100%.
6. If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always got. < 180
7. You are the only person on this planet responsible for your needs, wants, and happiness.
8. Ask for what you want. How else does anybody know if you don’t voice your needs..?
9. If what you are doing isn't working, try something different.
10. Be clear and direct.
11. Learn to say "no." And hang the consequences…
12. Don't make excuses.
13. If you are an adult, you are old enough to make your own rules.
14. Let people help you.
15. Be honest with yourself.
16. Do not let anyone treat you badly. No one. Ever.
17. Remove yourself from a bad situation instead of waiting for the situation to change. Research “charge neutral”
18. Don't tolerate the intolerable — ever.
19. Stop blaming. Victims never succeed.
20. Live with integrity. Decide what feels right to you, then do it.
21. Accept the consequences of your actions.
22. Be good to yourself.
23. Think "abundance." believe your needs are important and that there are people out there who are happy and willing to help you meet them.
24. Face difficult situations and conflict head on. Passivity got you here, man up!
25. Don't do anything in secret.
26. Do it now.
27. Be willing to let go of what you have so you can get what you want. < This is important, look at your PAST R with your WW and see where it fell down.
28. Have fun. If you are not having fun, something is wrong. You are allowed to have fun even if your WW doesn’t like the fact no new R though.
29. Give yourself room to fail. There are no mistakes, only learning experiences.
30. Control is an illusion. Let go; let life happen.

Be strong.

Mark.