I need that easy fix or something to throw me out of loop. I get it that you have never been depressed or felt this way about anything. But I can try to create the mental picture for you: imagine something you really hate to do. Something that really disgusts you. Something you can't do. That's how an overweight person feels about losing weight. That's how a depressed person feels about "positive thought and actions". That's how I feel about changing. A healthy brain releases dopamine each time you accomplish something, say play a correct chord on a guitar. My brain tells me "yay you learned one chord... whoooooo it only took you two hours (sarcastic) now please even try and learn the rest of the chord perfectly and maybe then I can give you satisfaction". I hope you see the problem. Sorry for venting but I am just so frustrated and I have nowhere else to write.
I've tried to talk about this but it's just not doing anything. I KNOW it could get better by using a lot of time but that's just the most ironic catch 22 there is. I would love to get better but it is hard and I require more than just some practices I can do at home alone because guess what? If I don't get instant gratification, it's really hard to see the point I can logically think it works, having a good diet makes me healthy, lifting weights makes me muscular but my brain just doesn't accept it because it doesn't see results, thus I don't feel good about it. Hope that explains it a bit or overall opens up the mental picture messed up people have. It's definitely mostly about brain chemistry/and learned behavior.
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
I can logically think it works, having a good diet makes me healthy, lifting weights makes me muscular but my brain just doesn't accept it because it doesn't see results, thus I don't feel good about it. Hope that explains it a bit or overall opens up the mental picture messed up people have. It's definitely mostly about brain chemistry/and learned behavior.