Yeah I realise she could take it that way or just badly. It was just so obviously childish that maybe if prompted she would see that too. A kind of truth dart reflecting back at her. Job's advice and reasoning is noted for future reference.

Gordie I think you were right to stop. No point headbutting a wall. I have to balance the catering for her being in disconnected mlc land whist maintaining a "normal"life as a couple/family. That is my struggle and frankly that may be the hill we die on. For me if we live as a couple there are boundaries and a minimum of expectations. I don't force her to continue living as a couple.

It is more complicated than that but I don't have the time to elaborate our dynamics.

Thanks for your viewpoint which I appreciate

R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together