I lied. There is one thing that I want to do. Doing things for others, not for myself. That is happiness for me. I remember fixing a lot of things in my xfil/xmil house, but in ours I never even started. I need the validation I get from it and my XW never gave me any.
You are on this forum, I take it for help so apologies about the bluntness of this but:
Can you see how co-dependant that paragraph is?
I have absolutely no doubt this fundamental flaw is the root to 99% of your problems.
"I NEED the validation I get from it, and my EX wife never gave me any" and she never gave me any".
Ill say it again - Do you understand the fundamental flaw in your mental makeup for you to come out with comments like that?
It is NOT hers or ANYBODIES job to give you validation. You do that yourself. That is a massive burden for her to carry - and she will have picked them vibes up from you whether you knew it or not.
The worst part is the 'irony' that your XW is now validating you so you would rather her be angry at you, rather than hurt you for saying thanks or showing appreciation for things?? - That is really weak - That’s is neither attractive or healthy.
That has nothing to do with brain chemistry or neurotransmitters or whatever study you have recently read.
Your skirting around the problem looking for easy fixes (AD, new fling) and not focusing on the cause. They would simply be further distractions.
You don't seriously believe this do you? -
Originally Posted By: lcause
I think I'm going to find a rebound relationship. I've read studies which indicate those people get over their exes much quicker and end up being happier. Just need to keep in mind that it is a rebound. Emotionally attaching to someone would probably do wonders for me.
