more like he's on the Australian bush and is unreachable, maybe always will be...
Interesting you say this.
During the year of our separation I found a lot of healing in my dreams. They were vivid and memorable and very clear in their meaning.
The one that caused me to finally drop the rope with Mr. Fantastic was that I was walking down a long hotel corridor looking for him. I stopped at one door and I knew he was inside the room, sitting on a recliner and playing video games. The room was totally empty otherwise. (I don't know how I knew this since the door was closed, but just go with me here... it was a dream.) Anyway, I knew he was in there and I knocked and knocked and called to him, but he just sat in his recliner playing video games. I think there was a sense that he wanted to get up and open the door, but didn't know how to. And after a time, I just had to keep on walking; I couldn't stay there knocking and calling for the rest of my life.
And when I woke up I was ok with leaving him behind.
I have always taken comfort with the thought that he wanted to get up and answer the door, but didn't know how. I think that was true, given how poorly he relates to people. But it's also true that the hallway was stretching in front of me, and his was only one door. I am still angry with so much of how he's behaved. And hurt that sometimes it seems like he's trying to send the message that *I* was the problem, and he's just fine, thank you very much. But that dream had truth in it.
I think it's true for your H too. Where Mr. Fantastic had video games Dr. Alaska has the tundra. He uses women to get him there, but at the end of the day he just doesn't know how to answer the call to a deeper, richer relationship and so he just moves on to the next one and the next one, where they can stay fairly shallow at least for a time.
I'm so glad you had such a great time at the wedding. I've been thinking about you. Thanks for checking in.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
