If you're read my sitch, you'll see my recent update on changing things up - esp around going dark with my W and make a 180 on it.
The ONLY reason I am changing it up is because there is no OM in the picture right now - that I know of. This allows me to do a 180 on the passive angle because I can take it slowly and not come off as pursuing. And I am doing it in tandem with improving myself and working on having no expectations and detachment.
If I find out that there is an OM, that would radically change my approach - full NC outside of kids stuff and going dark. This is not just so that I wouldn't look weak, but really having some self-respect for myself. You know you're worth more than this.
Improve passivity in all other areas of your life. Reaching out to her is not going to make you look good. In fact she might actually detest it seeing that as a 180 right now - why didn't he do it in the marriage; it's too little too late, etc.
You want to show her strength. This is not the way to do it if an OM is in the picture.
