Wow...part 6! Crazy! No change in my W, I just continue to give her time and space. I don't communicate with her much outside of kid exchange, kid related activities or finances. I rarely ever initiate any conversation with her and do not pursue. I never ask her questions about where she has been, what is doing, etc.
She has ran into money issues recently and has come to me for support. I have gone back and forth with 100% cutting her off etc. as I don't want to enable her but with children involved it's not as black and white. I do believe she is struggling more than she lets on and we have not spoke about our R or D in over 2 months. I still do not have confirmation that there is OM but I am sure she has at minimum met guys a bars, maybe went on a date, but I don't think there is 1 specific person.
My GAL has consisted primarily of hitting the gym and going out with friends here and there. I am still in our home and do feel comfortable being alone. I don't walk around looking at pictures or remembering how active and full of energy our house was so I feel pretty good and am not depressed about that.
I also feel good about who I am as person and am finding it hard to really think of what I would change about myself. When my W left she complained about my physical appearance (which I have changed) and also told me I needed to be more of a leader. I have done some reading on what that means but I don't know what her expectations consist of as she never told me. In general the areas listed below are how men should lead their home based on what I have read:
1. Lead by loving
2. Lead by initiating
3. Lead by example
4. Lead by management
5. Leading spiritually
6. Leading morally
7. Leading in reconciliation
8. Leading by your service
9. Leading in decision making
I think the biggest opportunity I have is leading by initiating and leading spiritually. I took care of all the finances in our home, was an active participant with our children and household chores. I feel like my W deferred to me on decisions and I made them. I feel I am a morally good person and lead my children by example.
To me initiating is a work in progress and I find it hard to do when we are not together. From a spiritual standpoint I have been taking my children to church every Sunday and have gotten more involved with bible study and with my D's getting them involved with choir and children's church (something I initiated).
Anyway I guess my stich is slightly boring compared to some. I don't know if that is good or bad but I guess it is what it is. My W and I don't yell at each other, she is not shoving her personal life in my face on social media or in person and we interact with each other at the events for our children with relative ease. In some respects it feels like we are already D without the paperwork being final.
