Hmm, so do you think if your H detached from you more and GAL for himself you would have been more incline to see the changes in him? Or become more interested?
Not really. In my case my husband was not doing anything. He was so passive and sort of detached from the marriage. He didn't do that. I saw him trying to connect and doing things to improve the marriage. It seems the things you wanted from your H after being separated are exactly the opposite from what this forum and the things I have learned from reading Michelle's books are.[/quote] I think on detaching it is clear that if a person was already withdrawn detaching or going dark may not be recommended. see this link http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=50956#Post5095
Are you still involved with the OM? If not, what caused you to stop? Did you H make you do a no contact type of agreement?[/quote]
In my case I stopped because sex happened by accident. all i wanted was to talk to him so when sex happened I felt so bad and woke up. All had happened because I was extremely depressed. Religion and morals played a huge role. I felt so bad and decided that even if I might divorce I dont need to cheat as it makes me feel worse abt myself. I decided to connect to my faith and read the bible and drew closer to God and had to repent. I stopped and cut contact without H even knowing then when I had healed I confessed to H on my own. I was not caught by H but I confessed then he contacted the OM to hear his side. He confirmed I ignored his contact even though he really wanted to be with me and he indicated he was disappointed that H wants to work things out and forgive me
M 11 Dated for 4 years before then Me 35 H 39 D 10 BD Feb 2016 A 2015 Dec I was never in a R with the OM. Had a one night stand & I stopped contact immediately I confessed the A to H and we went for MC
