My kids are 7 and 5 and there is no way they were able to understand the nuances of this conversation. Maybe some day you can tell them when they're much older.
One thing that I can say with 100% accuracy is this - do not put any burden on your kids about what is happening with your MR. My parents didn't do that for me and it was horrific and I am still dealing with trauma from that.
Your kids need to see both parents invested in them and that they respect each other, at least in front of the kids. I know the sentiment about wanting to tell your side of things to the kids and hold your W's feet to the fire - but this not the time to do that.
I would strongly encourage you talk to an IC if you have one about how to approach this conversation. My W and I said the following things:
1. Sometimes parents live in separate homes and that they will now have two homes. 2. We both love them very much 3. We will both be there for them all the time in every way 4. This is not their fault 5. It is okay to feel sad about the changes 6. They can talk to us any time about how they are feeling 7. We love them very much (throughout the convo we reinforced that)
