What to Do? 3

[Lovelyp]

yes I was addicted to talking to the OM because he would say things I wanted to hear and make me feel needed. I felt understood. Of course looking back he would listen to my frustrations with my H and made it a point to do that. I can say its all because he had information of what I am missing whereas my H didnt have and kept doing exactlty the same mistakes. I would talk to H and feel worse because he would repeat same things o actions that hurt me. There was a lot of tension between H and I so would feel so empty after talking to my H and would even want to talk to the OM more.

Yes I was physically separated from my H. Of course we had problems but distance made it worse because after being away I would think he would have changed for better but when I was with him and he had become more passive and said things out of anger I sort of gave up on us emotionally. When apart our communication was worse. What would really help is to try to work on how you communicate with her so that she enjoys talking to you. In my case a slight communication and seeing H trying to understand me would have helped. The first year of staying apart he tried and despite our problems I was positive about the marriage. He would come visit and did small gestures and that made me desire him. Some things he did were visit me and take 1 week work leave, talk more about us and asked what I wanted him to do differently, he had done a research of how to improve our sex life and small things I wanted him to do that he had never done before. The second year we drifted and the affair happened during the 3rd year of staying apart.