If she wants to be with him, then she has to except the consquences. He's in the military and having affair is punishable under UMCJ. If she will hate you after, how does she feel about now, because is show don't sound like she likes you. IMO you need to air it out. Tell his command and let them both deal with the consquences. Don't protect her relationship with OM.
After you do it. Dont react to nothing she does and GAL hard.
For what its worth, i agree with this.
Further, I'd demand that since she is having the affair, she move out at the very least out of the marital bedroom. Then as joe suggests, just GAL and detach. you have to act as if you are moving on without her. From everything i've read on here, its when they actually get the feeling you've moved on that they turn around (if they do). At first it may be an act because you have to force yourself to do it, but eventually the "act" becomes less forced and you actually do move on.
Read all the links cadet posted especially Sandi's LBS threads. There is some good stuff in there that is very relevant to your situation. Also, if in doubt, listen to Sandi2's advice as she has been on the other side of this.
Good luck in this awful situation.
Me 51, Wife 44; Married 4; Together 10; HSD20, XWSD13, XWSS14, XWSS17 Kids Together D4, D1.52 W Moves Out: 03/16/17 W Files : 03/17/17 D Final: 10/23/17
