I am searching for ways to end the fog and the affair without too much damage. She has, since i originaly posted this , told me she wants to be with OM because he is her " Soulmate" and she has been in love with him since August 3rd. she has refused to end the affair to save our family. I'm having one of those days where i want to save us and get her back.
Do you truly want to end the fog and the affair? First of all, I seriously doubt you can end the fog or the affair without too much damage. Second of all, you will never end her fog or her affair by trying to show her how much you love her......and want her.......although she's scr@wing another another man. If you only knew how pathetic that makes a man look to a wayward wife, you would REALLY make a 180 degree in how you are approaching this betrayal by your W.
I can tell you what ends her fog. When harsh consequences hit her smack in the face. When she suffers some type of loss, due to her decisions to cheat and break up her family. That ends the fog.
You greatly affect her decisions in all of this, in how you respond to her adultery, betrayal, and disrespect. The way you have approached this situation so far.........is pushing her farther away, and it isn't phasing her fog.
Stop trying to convince her how much you love her and how much you want to save the M. She needs to be concerned.........and she won't be concerned with you letting her know how much you want her and the M. Don 't cater to her. Stand up for yourself and don't put up with her b.s. Don't let her ever see your fear!
You cannot make up for the emotional neglect while she's bringing another man into the M. It never works! The wayward wife will not turn around until she thinks her H is dumping her. Yes, I said dumps her. So far, she's been dumping you, right? She is not worried about you happily moving on with a life without her in it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
