Still here. Still not detached... (Part 2)

[Chris73]

Previous thread:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2762111#Post2762111

Where the kids already with you? Has she ever done this before? Is it a pattern or 1 time event?

Yes, they had been with me since Friday after work. This is really not a pattern (yet) which is another reason why I agreed to change my plans.

So play this out. I always try to think like 2 or 3 steps ahead and look for potential outcomes. You say "sorry I need you home by 4, I got plans". She says "sorry not going to happen I am taking this client". What is your next move??

Man that's a hard question. If she responded that way I'm sure my impulse would be to get angry, which certainly wouldn't help things. But what IS the appropriate response? I could validate until the cows come home but if she still refuses to come home, then what?

Why are you blaming her for your inability to say no?

Exactly! So I will consider this progress.

I think it's best to just let it go and decide to react differently next time.

Yeah. What would you even say? Actions are more important than words anyway.

Yes, I ran through the conversation in my mind and I could already envision it not going well for me. Best to drop it and move on.