Came home yesterday from a day out. W came in my room about an hour later and asked if I had a minute to talk. Said she wanted to put a hold on the D and wants to try and work on our MR. Told me she still loves me and doesn't want to lose me or our family. Went on to say we both have a lot of issues to work out but she wants to work on them together and not alone. Gave me a nice long hug and teared up a little bit.
We went to bed in our separate rooms and around 4am this morning she came in my room and we just held each other for awhile until it was time to get up.
It looks as though I've been given another chance and don't want to doof this up..
Now what?
Me: 42 W: 47 S: 10 M: Almost 10 in Oct T: 15 1st BD: Feb 2016 Divorce Filed: Mar 2016 Separated: Mar 2016 Reconciled: Oct 2016 2nd BD: Aug 2017
W and I had a great day yesterday. We had a long talk after our S went to bed and she told she realized it was wrong to put all the blame on me for our MR. She told me that she was still in love with me and that she knows I love her but she wished I would show her that love. One of the biggest problems I feel we have always have is that we both tend to shut down after arguments. We never really resolve the issue, we just sweep it under the rug and move on with our lives. We both tend to avoid conflict and instead of telling each other how we feel we just bottle it up and we build this wall between us.
This is the second time we have decided to delay the D in order to work on our marriage. I really don't want to end up here in a few months and I really don't feel that either of us have the tools in our box to overcome some of the issues. Are there any recommended workshops, weekend retreats or books we can be reading? Should I be heading to the piecing forum? I checked it out but there doesn't seem to be a lot of activity there. Last night was there first time since the end of July we slept in our MBR together. Felt great and I don't want to mess this up.
Me: 42 W: 47 S: 10 M: Almost 10 in Oct T: 15 1st BD: Feb 2016 Divorce Filed: Mar 2016 Separated: Mar 2016 Reconciled: Oct 2016 2nd BD: Aug 2017
It sounds like you might have a shot at repairing things. Something the vets always say is take your time when it comes to piecing. Don't rush it, or you'll find yourself back here again.
There's a retreat called Retrouvaille that many people here have highly recommended.
Me-47,XW-43 S13,S16 M:18 BD:4-23-17 W filed:7-17-17 (5 months of in-house separation hell) W moved out:1-6-18 D granted:2-15-18 Decree signed:3-29-18
You may check out these threads for some information that might help. I would say learn from the mistakes you made the first time around, take it very slow, get into IC and/or MC for the both of you.
