Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 10

[PsySara]

Sky,
It's good to see you around, I was beginning to wonder where you'd gone off to. I sometimes wonder if anyone really "knows" if reconciliation was worth it after being cheated on. I am sure they deal with the niggling thought in the back of their mind for the duration of the relationship. It's like being deliberately shot by a loved one, the scar will always remain and it may hurt when the rain comes. I am sorry you are struggling but truly, I get it.


JDub,
I recommend EMDR to about 80% of my patients, a lot of my patients have been deeply traumatized and thus they land in my backyard (inpatient, acute stabilization.) I hear this voice whisper (not really!) "Physician, heal thyself" whenever I am recommending it.

So Saturday WH accompanied me to the Eid festival with the kids. The kids had a FANTASTIC time, there were rides, face painting, food, prayer and tons of activities. WH asked if we could pick up his motorcycle which he had stored at his job's garage during the hurricane, I acquiesced. By the time we got to his job all the kids were sleeping. He got out of the van and I had a chance to see all three kids in their seats, face paint, the helium balloons floating around the back seats...my face just broke out in a big smile. This is what I wanted but WH never seemed to take the lead. I wanted the kids to have a HUGE blast for our holidays and when I took the reigns I made it happen. My chest felt full to bursting and I am still smiling when I think about it. Meanwhile WH was silent, stone faced and just...detached from us. His loss.

I took the kids to the mosque today and registered the two older ones for Islamic Sunday school. They will be there every Sunday for 14 weeks and learn (and be tested) on the basic Quran verses and the tenets of out religion. They also will get pizza, lol! I came home after dropping them off and finished the laundry and other sundry things. WH came home early from work as I was putting the baby back in the van to go pick them up. He looked surprised and asked where I was going, I told him to pick up the kids from the mosque. I invited him to come pick them up and he accepted. The ride was filled with silence but I was comfortable, meanwhile he kept taking these deep sighs.

I stopped by an ice cream place on the way home and WH sat with us but didn't get ice cream. Instead he laid his head on the table like some pouting child. I wanted to dump my cone on his head. When we came home WH went and took a nap, I took the kids for a swim in our pool. I felt relaxed, happy and really present while they splashed and swam. I showered them afterward and made dinner. WH woke from his nap and went into his office and played video games. I decided to walk our puppies and told WH the kids were in his care. He grunted a response and when I came home 40 minutes later he was still playing video games. Honestly, it's like I'm married to a moody teenager.