Then reading Sandi2 thread, it says, wife is not looking for love. So how do we loving detach and show that we care. If our S are to believe they are losing us, aren't they to believe that our love is fleeing as well?
The reason I said that the WW is not looking for love is b/c the first thing the LBH wants to do is show her how much he loves her. He begins doing things for her, thinking it will draw her closer. However, the things he does to demonstrate how much he loves her.....is pursuit. This is not what she wants.
She is not behaving in this manner b/c she is looking for love from her H. She did not drop the bomb b/c she thought it would wake him up and start working on the M. That was not her intent. Whether she dropped the bomb or not, she is done with the M.
If you've ever experienced having a clingy girlfriend who would not accept the fact that you wanted to break up with her..........and she continues to smother you and tries to convince you to give it another chance.. .........then that is similar to the WW and her H. (The H is like the clingy GF). The more the H attempts to demonstrate his love, the more he is turning her off.
This does not mean that the H should be hateful to her. It doesn't mean he should talk ugly and give her the cold shoulder. As long as she is acting out in her waywardness, he needs to love her quietly.........or as some say, from a distance.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
