I suggest you set up an appointment for you and the kids to see a family therapist
I agree with Sandi, but be very careful on whom you pick.
Your kids are at an age where they have a real good picture of what's going on. I was 16 when my parents divorce was final, and although this was the 1980s, the "therapy" didn't provide a lot of value to me at the time. Their therapist was a kook, and we saw right through that. Your kids will too.
Plus, you and W need to be really clear on what the objective is, leaving personal agendas aside...which is really challenging considering you want a different outcome. I know it would be very hard for me to do family therapy when I see very clearly who in the family has a drive to preserve things (me and kids) and who wants out (W).
