Hi Leah - I wonder if I could pick your brain about something. I've read a lot of your story, and BTW you write very well and it's kind of heartbreaking. But I see how hard you are trying to move forward, and that's inspirational.
I'm wanting to understand more about the W's mindset. My W gets overwhelmed by anxieties, and she's always had trouble coping with life events that are modestly complex (she's very very smart, but doesn't like breaking eggs).
I started a business about five years ago, it took much longer than planned for me to get on the payroll (we had planned for three years, I just started getting paid in May). During that time, she got laid off, her mom got diagnosed with cancer and subsequently passed away, she went off meds, etc. I'm the source of all blame and resentment, and she goes into full-on "blame rage" when we have R discussions. She's not owning her stuff, but feels justified in her anger.
This isn't an A situation obviously, so it is a little different, but some people might see a connection between dedication to a business and an EA. Saps your attention and focus for sure. We are both devoted to our kids, and although she's conflicted, she is really pushing for a D.
If your H even wanted it, what does it take for a W to overcome accrued anger and resentment and hopelessness, including the kind you are facing?
Thanks - don't mean to hijack your thread at all, just didn't know if you had ever thought about it.
