Citygrl - I know what you mean about wanting to talk to people who understand. People keep trying to convince me to D and I can't see how that will make anything better. I still love him even if I can't live with who he became after he met her.
Stuck or in a lull? You'd get different answers from me on different days. Some days I feel like I have moved on. I'm planning my future without him, I just don't see myself wanting to marry again.
Other days I'll admit that at least part of me doesn't want to lose to the OW who intentionally and aggressively broke up my family. I already played into her hands when I asked him to move out. Initiating a D would be throwing the game to her. I have no doubts that she'd push him into a marriage. Then my kids would be stuck with her. They tell me stories that don't rise to the level of taking the kids away from him, but that certainly indicate that she isn't good for them.
I also think about him waking up, realizing he made a mistake and working to fix it. That's not moved on at all, and I know it.
I updated my signature line with the facts and dates. I guess the other thing I'd say is that I was his first girlfriend. He never thought anyone liked him before me (not true, but he couldn't see it). He had a self sacrificing view of marriage that lead him to hide his wants and needs and build up resentment. When I had the relationship talk with him a few months back he told me that he thought I should have been giving him what he wanted without his having to tell me what that was. I just listened. When I processed later I didn't see how anyone outside of the honeymoon phase could live up to that standard.
Lovelyp - thank you for stopping by I'll take a look at your thread.
Me 45 H 46 At bomb T 22 M 13 D14 S12
H fell in love 2/14 H moved out 11/14 H bought a house 8/15 Legal sep 9/15, final 12/15 - I filed No moves toward D
