Kylo's Thread Part 2 Chances Look Slim

[Kylo]

Kaizen, At this stage in DB we validate and don't argue and don't make our case. I guess I was projecting this long-term. You're right about the validation part. I guess I needed to make it clear that I'm not OK with validation and then just leaving it alone for the long-term.

If W was a "normal" reasonable person, it wouldn't be as big as a deal. However, with the BPDish, emotions=facts. So whenever me showing her how easy it is to disconnect the propane tank makes her feel like I'm asking her to do everything, it becomes I am asking her to do everything. Pair this with an inability to admit she is wrong and you can see how this R would lose all touch with reality. A mentally ill person would be creating the reality of our M.

But, yes, I can and should continue to validate if we reconcile. I just can't validate and then let the erroneous conclusion go over and over again. I can also work on my communication skills so that I'm not misinterpreted.

I just disagree that feelings can't be wrong, at least in the context of: I want to have a healthy relationship with a person. If that is the framework, then there will be reactions to events that are wrong.

An example: I was an ogre who "used" her and only wanted her for sex since I wanted to have sex more than once a month. I told her I read articles on the subject that said: do it even if you don't want to. And like MWD said, she ended up liking it every time, expect once that I can remember. But she felt I was an ogre. Sorry, I'm not an ogre. Her feelings are wrong, and there is nothing in my past that would support that conclusion.

This next week: I want to finish strong on my fitness since we are going to the beach on Friday for a week and I need to get ready for the trip, so not as productive of a DB week. I'll work on no snark, more support, always validate