A fresh start? (probably not!)

[CW2017]

Hi
just a quick update on today's MC session. We have been "discharged" as the MC thinks we are now in a pretty good place. Strangely enough my W asked me last night if there was any need to continue as I was alright about things (and so was she). Based on the usual great advice here I ensured that the "elephant in the room" topic was mentioned especially as the MC said it should be addressed as it seemed that we might be rug sweeping the topic at home. I said I had not mentioned it since that period of time after confronting (when the topic would raise its head from time to time) because I had assumed that she would deal with this issue herself as we were making a go of things (anything else on my part could have been viewed as controlling?). My W said both she and the OM had tried to keep things "neutral" and it had been easier recently as she has been snowed under with work and they had both been on vacation at different times. The good thing was the MC (and she has been extremely good throughout the sessions) made sure we brought everything out into the open and particularly on the subject of trust I stated (rather than "I will never trust her again when she goes to work or goes out socialising") that the trust will come from us being more open with each other.

So on the one hand ending the counselling is the best thing in case the affair is still there, i.e. it is pointless by definition, but on the other it is finishing leaving us definitely at a new level of cooperation and understanding. I openly stated to the MC that I adored my W and she said how much she loved me as well. So she either gets the Oscar or there is something to work on now.

As stated before my mental health now comes first so there will be no more monitoring and I will rely on my gut instincts from now on which unfortunately have served me well to date. It really is up to her now as I said to the MC that the alternatives will not be nice (especially as I have the solicitor in place). She said she will still have to interact with him at work as her work details support his role so she must keep things neutral. So if she has come out of the mist then that just leaves the lust and her insecurity and again time will tell. This thing will of course be eaesier to rationalise if nothing similar has happened in the past. But at the same time one of the first thing she said in the sessions was that she wanted things to go back to what it was before the affair.

Hopefully not to be continued..... (but I certainly intend to participate more fully in the boards here!)