Another thing that concerns me is all the confusion I keep leaving her with by going back and forth on my plans. I mean I want to implement this and stick with it but man have I wavered a lot lately and each time it just seems to wear us down more. I mean after I asked for a Divorce on Friday and moved out I then on Tuesday asked to forget the Divorce and give it more time because the family is worth at least a chance! I then asked for just seperation instead of a divorce to think things over more. She agreed. Now Im going to move back in. Can that still be a seperation? I've made a lot of profound statements in a short amount of time.
You are quite right, you've sent her a lot of mixed signals and I'm sure she's sick and tired of it. So talk to her about it. Tell her "W, I'm sorry I've sent you so many mixed signals lately but I had no idea you were so unhappy and never thought you would want to break up our marriage. It came as quite a jolt and I think may have even put me into a state of shock. I apologize for that, but I'm starting to think more clearly now. I can see it was a mistake for me to leave the house, this is our home and if you want out of the marriage you are going to have to be the one to leave. I would prefer that you stay and work on the M, but if you decide that leaving is what you want then I will support your decision. But I am not leaving."
It doesn't have to be those exact words but I think you get the idea. Make DB'ing your game plan moving forward and stick to it and be consistent. Don't worry too much about what your W thinks right now, like LH said she could very well get angry that you've moved back in. But legally you are within your rights, and morally as well. And she is going to get angry and frustrated with you no matter what. When you DB, the WAS HATES it. They want you to just go away. They don't want you there, they don't want you to change, they don't want you to get a life. So just be ready because she will probably not take kindly to anything you do for quite a while. It's a marathon, settle in for it!
