Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 10

[PsySara]

Leahsue,
Thank you for taking the time during your roller coaster to come give support, I really appreciate it.

Stormchasher,
You would think after my PI abilities previously (restored deleted texts, put a key logger on his phone, cracked into his google history, have a tracker on his phone, found the address of AP's parents and sent them a letter exposing the affair) he would learn to avoid electronic communication. But no, he has snapchat on his phone as well as his ipad. So while he was chatting with New Nurse on his phone it was showing live on his ipad. What little bit I witnessed months ago was benign. But I didn't like the joking/heckling I was reading because with WH's boundaries it would quickly develop to something more. Well any time you open and chat with someone it time stamps it, so his Ipad was showing he has recently chatted with her. The other night he actually left it open mid convo so I was able to read what he typed (he never sent it) and the time. So he's crossed a boundary by resuming communication with this young, single (very pretty) nurse on his snapchat.

Blu,
Thank you so much for your vote of confidence, I needed that. It's weird, it's like some sort of switch flipped and I've become...detached is the wrong word, just....very tightly focused in my rage. I've already scheduled three consults out of six. WH will know nothing until I've filed and I will give him the choice of choosing where he is served.

Today I went to my third consult and I really like this lawyer's philosophy. Her retainer fee is a bit pricier as well as her hourly rate but her philosophy closely mirrors mine. Her jaw dropped a few times when I described the timeline (WH proposing and having sex with AP 3 weeks after meeting her) and she was surprised at the counter measures I took to save my marriage. When I told her I was purposely consulting the top rated family lawyers to "poison the well" she burst out laughing. She also became serious and thoughtful when I told her I was not 100% against reconciliation but only if I saw HUGE behavior changes in my husband. She said she is my employee and I call the shots.

She seemed impressed that my goals were clearly defined (The house goes to me, WH can have all his vehicles, 401K, retirement, etc) I told her I was going to do everything in this process as low key as possible. I would not engage in arguments with WH but rather focus on the desired outcome. Mostly I would move heaven and earth to diminish the damage to my children. I would not use my children as a tool to hurt WH, I no longer cared if he suffered or felt "success" by divorcing me, I just wanted my children to come out of this relatively unscathed. I really want to try clean, quick mediation and the lawyer felt that was completely reasonable and said it would save an enormous amount of money. She was frank that she would litigate like a pitbull if I green lighted her but that I was the one to decide the tone. I still have more consults scheduled but I will probably go with her.