If he came back, how would your marriage be different? How would you be different?
If my H came back and I really do hope he comes back, I would first start by giving him confidance in himself. He said that what he did wasn't acknowledge and wasn't enough. I would let he know that he is more than enough, he is perfert for me. I would listen to him more and not always focus on my needs. I would stop being mad at the little stuff. I would give him more affection and not push him away when he initiate physical intimacy.
That's what I can think of right now, I know I have other things to work on.
The problem now is to get him to talk to me and to not hold a grudge againt me. That is where I need help.
I don't think that's the problem you need to focus on. You want to show that you listen and that you can put his needs ahead of yours. Right now, he needs and wants space.
I think you should put your energy into meeting with a counselor so that you can make the changes you want to make. You need to learn to live with uncertainty without pressuring him, and you need to learn to be more emotionally self-sufficient. A counselor can help you with both of those.
Then, when he's ready to spend talk, you will be able to make the changes you want to make.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
