My Story...

[joejoe1]

Don23,

I'm glad you have start going back to church and are taking the kids. I started going back to after BD. Church has helped me alot. I joined the Church I was attending two weeks ago, and on Wednesday I signed of for a 12 week evangelism class.

Ok, now with the house situation. IMO, if you want to go back to the house go. When you go back, you walk in, and if your wife ask what you are doing, you say, "I'm coming back home". If she says why, you say, "because I want to be home". Say no more. Don't argue, don't talk about your feelings. Say that and then go to where you would sleep. Going back and forth don't show confidence. Go back home with confidence, knowing you won't be leaving again.

Also, you need to talk a weekend to yourself, by yourself or with some friends. Get away. Seems to me that your wife takes all the weekends to herself. You need to take some of those back. Your wife knows she can do what she wants on the weekend because, you weren't go no where. Stop making yourself accessible in that way. Get away, don't tell her where you are going, just that you are taking a weekend for yourself. She's probably going to tell she had plans already, you tell her, especially if she didn't inform you ahead of time. That this weekend is mine, you get up and leave. When you get back she is going to be nasty and mean, and want to pick arguments, don't take the bait. Look at her and say "I understand and walk away".

It's time for you to take care of yourself. Gain your confidence and happiness back. Saving yourself gives your best chance to save your marriage.

Also, read about 180s and detaching as much as possible. If your get a chance read TxHubby Sitch. Also read Sandi2, 37 rules of "Do's and Don'ts".