I will and I am trying do to everything I can but I think it's more difficult when you don't live with your spouse.
Also, my H and I have a joint credit card, should I stop using it so that he questions if I've fallen off the face of the earth or use it to show him I am doing stuff without him?
Try to think about yourself and not how your actions might affect H. If you do things for yourself and feel good, he will take notice. Read the first post from Cadet again. This will take time, and that is probably a good thing to give each of you time to work on yourself.
Your H is trying to get away from you. If you try to move closer and "trying everything", he will just start running even faster.
If you have not gone further about talking about financials maybe you should go on like you have done using your joint account? I don't know if it would make a difference really. Your H does not sound like he is well and you are probably linked to that. Especially after what you told us about your dynamics. He can only fix this by himself (and hopefully professional that he have to get himself). You cannot help him here, he does not want your help.
Hope you will get some advoces from some of our veterans as well!
H-30s W-30s M-5 T-10 D4 ILYBNILWY/BD-May/17 W moves out-May/17 D filed-May/17 House sold, move to apartment-Aug/17 D going through-Jan/18?
Like SwHubby said some vets will chime in, they are lerking. IMO, keep using the Credit Card like you always have. When you detach and GAL (Get a Life), you don't want your S knowing what you are doing. You want to create mystery. And GAL is for you. If you put what you doing on your CC, your H will not start missing you if he knows exactly what you are doing. Let go and start loving yourself. You have to become healthy as well.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
Try to think about yourself and not how your actions might affect H. If you do things for yourself and feel good, he will take notice. Read the first post from Cadet again. This will take time, and that is probably a good thing to give each of you time to work on yourself.
How will he notice if he doesn't want to see me and talk to me??
Like SwHubby said some vets will chime in, they are lerking. IMO, keep using the Credit Card like you always have. When you detach and GAL (Get a Life), you don't want your S knowing what you are doing. You want to create mystery. And GAL is for you. If you put what you doing on your CC, your H will not start missing you if he knows exactly what you are doing. Let go and start loving yourself. You have to become healthy as well.
The hard part is detaching. I will try to create mystey but I feel like he doesn't even think about me and our marriage. He already said he doesn't really think about me. Should I believe it? Do you guys think he thinks about our M. ?
I'm going to tell you now. A major message around here, is don't mind read. You will drive yourself crazy. Trying to mind read a WH or WAH is not healthy. I will also tell you the best way to find out from him is if you give him space and time. When he's ready to talk he will come and seek you out. Another major theme is you do GAL, 180s, and detachment for yourself the LBS. I read up on those daily. You will make mistakes, it's part of the process. Be patient and give time.
One last theme and it's a part of Sandi2 37 rules, believe none of what your S say and half of what they do. Start studying and applying the techniques. We are here for support. Come here a blog what events happen throughout the day and exactly what you did or didn't do. You are going to get a lot of advice here.
Last thing, please GAL, it will make time pass and get your mind off of this awful time in your life. I use meetup.com, maybe you can start there.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
I know I shouldn't mind read but I can't help it, I still don't understand why H left.
How can you love someone so much and then want nothing to do with them. We always said we were destined to be together. I forgot to mention in my first post that when we started dating we found out that we went to the same kindergarten and even have a photo of us sitting next to each other at one year old.
He always said we had the most beautiful love story and he would never leave me...
I will be honest with you most of us here struggle to find the why answer.
Not all us get the exact reason. Nit before anyhow. Dont let that consume you. Pls don't let it. It will hold you back.
The person your husband is now, is not the person you married. He most likely did feel that way. But his feelings has change. Listen to what he tell you his feelings are and validate his feelings. Read up on validation.
It's hard, and it will take hard work, to get to place to have a chance to get your H back. But DB and detaching is the best way possible for that to happen.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
The person your husband is now, is not the person you married. He most likely did feel that way. But his feelings has change. Listen to what he tell you his feelings are and validate his feelings. Read up on validation.
Is there a chance that the man I married will ever come back?
