Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 10

[PsySara]

Thank you my friends, I just feel kind of low right now. WH has resumed snap chatting a single, pretty young nurse at his job. He doesn't know I know so for now I am keeping my cards close to my chest. I am back to the LRT but I am doing it for my own sanity versus attempting to get him back. I made an appointment tomorrow with the first of many lawyer consults. A lesser known fact but WH will not able to utilize any lawyer I consult. So I plan on consulting every "big" one in our city, it's known as poisoning the well. Honestly it's just a strategic move on my behalf so I can make sure I am most likely to get what I want from this divorce. My main goals are majority time with the kids but I will "settle" for 50/50. He needs to pay for child care and education costs and I will cover their day-to-day expenses. Previously when I consulted a lawyer I was told there will be no SS as WH and I make equal pay at this point. I am fine with that, I don't desire to fleece him just ensure my children have the financial stability.

I have purchased a book that addresses what to expect when divorcing a narcissist and how to plan your strategy. I chuckle to see it next to my 8 books on how to save marriage and strengthen marriage.

Basically I am going to have the papers written up and present them to WH with a goal to schedule the splitting of assets. As of now he is behaving as if it's business as usual and I suspect he thinks were just repeating the cycle. Previously we'd have a fight, not talk for days to weeks and then I would approach him for reconciliation. Well, not this time. My goal is no longer to save this marriage but to save myself and my children.

This weekend I plan to take the kids to an Eid carnival and invited WH. Initially he hemmed and hawed but I told him matter-of-factly that I needed to know so I could have a friend come with if he wasn't coming to help with the kids, He tried to pick an argument by saying, "So you just need me for childcare." I shut that down and told him it didn't matter if he came but I needed to plan one way or the other. He appeared taken aback and softly said he would like to come. Okay then. Gawd! Why does everything have to be about him?! Just answer a question yes or no! Why did I fight so hard for such an immature @sshole?

I've also started being more proactive with the kids religious education. I've started having them pray salat next to me and have left a VM at the mosque about children's Quranic studies. I've decided I can no longer wait for WH to be the Muslim father he promised to be when we had children. HE is dishonest and wayward so I definitely can't expect him to teach things like morals and integrity.My anger has now been focused to a cold, pinpoint tight beam.