The actions you need to take seem so counter-intuitive that it's difficult to comprehend that it could be effective.
Ultimately, you need to let go of your wife and marriage and focus on improving your life and living your life to the fullest.
GW, sorry to read about your sitch. Doodler gave you some great advice here and you should read these two sentences over and over until they really set in.
Me: 42 W: 47 S: 10 M: Almost 10 in Oct T: 15 1st BD: Feb 2016 Divorce Filed: Mar 2016 Separated: Mar 2016 Reconciled: Oct 2016 2nd BD: Aug 2017