Moving Forward - Continued

[Jmstl]

Hello All,

Hope you are all well.

Apologies about the delay and username switch.

Prior to last weekend my W had made a request to meet my parents on her next visit to the house. The meeting went well. Only stayed for an hour. Both parties - could see a change, both my W (with my interactions and atmosphere with my parents) and also parents (identified a few situations where previously I would have made a comment towards W that didn’t happen).

After we drove home the W advised that even though she went to my parents because she genuinely missed them, she admitted that she was curious to see if the changes I had made in myself (that she can see), had also extended into my other close relationships with my parents. In essence, making sure that all of this isn't a "act" just for her. She felt a completely different atmosphere and was more at ease than usual and all parties were comfortable and understanding that it was a rebuilding stage but not enough for it to affect the enjoyment of the evening. She advised she was impressed and felt so much better.

We spent the following day together and had a fantastic day.

A lot of the talk over the weekend from W, was centred around her hopes for the future. She is keen to purchase a dog, and has made no secret of her desire of us having a child in the future and feels an excitement that there is a potential for a brighter future again for us both. But for the time being, we will continue to date once a week and get used to spending a dedicated day together for a few more months so that we are both 100% convinced that moving forward together is something we both want.

She apologised twice during the day for 'breaking us both' - but it was something she had to do. She was not happy and was petrified that the dream life we had planned was all going wrong, and thought getting married and being a husband would "snap me out of it", and make me become the person she finds in front of her today. But it didn’t so she saw no other option but to leave.

She says she is very proud of how I have handled this period, as in truth she was very very concerned I would do something silly, or start to let myself go, miss days off work etc.. And just go off the deep end.

The fact that this didn’t happen, and the fact that despite my own pain, I have grown and allowed her to come to this decision herself (i.e. not contacting her for 4/5 days at a time and never asking once for a conclusion in 6 months) it allowed her to process and go through her own personal journey and feel strong enough to look at things in a more logical i.e. less emotional mind set.

She apologised for not being more vocal about her unhappiness. She advises that she has thought about it from my point of view and states that I could never have understood how unhappy she was if she never really discussed it with me.

After returning to work on Monday, I received a txt to ask my availability for this coming weekend.

I advised I was busy on Friday and on Saturday day but was free after that. She then asked if I was interested in coming for a meal with herself and her parents on Saturday night and then sleep at her parents house with her. We would then drive back in the morning to our house, she would sleep with me at ours on Sunday and go to work from there.

I agreed and am looking forward to it.

Yesterday while at home I receive a picture message of her evening meal, and I sent her one back of mine. Mine was simply noodles and we both laughed at how rubbish I am at cooking compared to her.

She finished off by saying "That’s not good enough food for you, don’t worry, you wont be eating stuff like that anymore if we keep on moving like we are".

I sent a smiley face back and left it at that.

So there we are.

Advise for anyone going through this journey.. Do NOT give up, focus on yourself, let the relationship go, do NOT try to pressure and just get on with improving your life for yourself - without the need to receive a pat on the back from anyone. Stay positive do NOT let the dark days knock you off course and prepare for the worst but hope for the best and do not "wait" for anyone. THIS IS A LIFE CHANGE - NOT A TRICK OR TECHNIQUE TO GET WAS BACK!!

B,

I will totally admit that reading this made me cry. It's is good to see it working out for you and I pray that I can go through a journey similar to yours, changing dropping the rope, etc. I know that in less than 3 weeks I will be divorced. But I also know that there will always a small possibility of recon.

I am so happy for you, and hope to follow your example.