WAS OR WHAT 10

[roist]

Gordie,

Here is my çurrent thinking on appreciation day:

1. My W feels unappreciated. Me showing her appreciation may not change that. That depends on where she is really. Recently I read something to the affect that we shouldn't do the job of our spouces. The context was that often people come up with the predicted response and don't do something based on that. She won't want to so I won't ask, kind of thing. How many of you reading this can relate to that sentiment pre- BD?
did and i tealise now it is s losing concept, one i prefer to gey rid of. I will issue a warning to other lbs reading this that for most lbs in crisis, this is not sonething to focus on yet.
2. I have worked a lot on gratitude and appreciation. I do show appreciation already and my W appears to put some effort into things I thank her most for.
3. Showing appreciation and feeling appreciated are not always linked. There are many factors to that but part of my motivation is also to be more appreciative. That I can achieve.
4. Over the last three years I have read a dozen or so books, I have read tonnes on the internet. I have listened to a few months (accumulated tine) of podcasts and videos. And I have listened to the advice here. This has all served me to a point. I have grown. But there are many things I choose not to do, because it wasn't the right time. I agree with that concept and believe it also served me well. However it is our actions that define our results. I am lucky in that my W is still there (somewhat) so I may as well try.
5. I don't think that this is a huge risk. It is not a declaration of undying love nor pressure to give back anything.
:
I have not decided but am close to doing a small appreciation day.

During our recent holiday I decided that it was time for some me focused actions. Here is a quick update on some I have taken:
# changed facial hair.
# sought out a new activity to do out of the house. Started last night doing guided meditation. This ticks many boxes for me. It us new, with new people. It is an activity that should benefit me. It is something I wouldn't have even considered doing publicly before, but am doing it regardless.II will go at least once a week and commit to daily practice.
# did a multisport raid race with a friend.
# planned to go away for a day to jog in the mountains

For the record I am grateful that my W is there so getting out isradier. I realise that this is possible with alternative guard too but still.

As always any comments, observations, warnings, advice or support are welcome

Best wishes