Any Advice?

[gw5263]

I'm implementing the 180, but its a little difficult because of the kids, and honestly, me. I want my life back. i want my wife back. I still blame OM and hate that she is still talking to him. She told me the other day that she would not end it with him to fix us because she loves him and he is her soulmate. I want so back to find that magic thing i have been searching for the last three months that when waved will make her see what shes doing and end it, but its still eluding me. I have an irrational thought that a long distance affair that is six months old, all over a phone, with a total of 8 days actual in person contact will wither and die soon. She has no interaction with this ass other than on the phone. Her justifications are warped, she took the trip in July so they could play hosue and see how it went. She remains adamant that she doesnt want to be with me, but wants to be with him and have a life with im. he doesnt want her to move to him, so they continue over the phone. My wife was a physical person, i cannot see how this type of relatioonship could possibly be satisfying. She is convinced he is worth a 17 year marriage and our family. She's heavu\y on the manipulation end- threatening to hate me forever if i turn him in to the military and expose him. What do i do?