I told her she really needs to get a job first, since so much hinges on that and how much it pays. Then everything else can fall into place. Plus she can build up a little war chest.
Overall I did a good job of validating and told her how she would be great at the job I found in her field. I realized that I actually have done this whole validation thing in the past whenever we discussed things calmly (a rare occurrence). It felt familiar, so I didn't have to really try. Once we started getting into heated arguments, however, I argued like a lawyer in cross-examination.
^^^^ Not not NOT validation. That comment about how she would be great at the job you found her, wow. Very passive/aggressive. And then arguing with her, ugh. The whole point of validation is to reduce/ remove conflict. You're not getting it. Please go have a look at the validation sticky if you really do want to work on validation (I don't get the impression you do though).
