I have mostly stop snooping. I check the house phone yesterday, but I'm done doing that.
When I stopped snooping it helped with detaching.
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I think it's better for her to be at the home. She can see me getting better and happy. I can also monitor my impact.
I think the advice you would get on this board would be different but ultimately it is your sitch.
Earlier you asked about finances. When my W moved out I took her checkbook to our joint account and our 1 credit card. She also opened up her own checking account and her checks re-directed to be auto-deposited there. Once she got access to her own money I removed her name from our joint checking account and I sent her an email to advice.
Before she moved out we also discussed who would pay for what. I did not come across this board until after she moved out if I had I probably would have done a couple of things different. She pays for her rent, living expenses and utilities at her apartment. She also is responsible for any debt or anything else she purchases for the apartment. She also pays for her own cell-bill.
