I think thats half the problem at the minute, your sort of expecting your W to advise you about things your need to do and/or what she needs to see in order to make this situation 'right again'.
That can only come from you. There is no act to put on or certain techniques to follow because you wont be able to keep that up in the long term and the 'old you' will come creeping back in.
One of the biggest changes I made, and had the biggest impact - is this...
Over the weekend, she asked me how my week had gone. Normally before sh*t hit the fan i would say "Oh the usual, (insert name) is being a douche at work, the traffic is terrible, etc.., need to take the car to the garage)etc..etc..
On reflection, I see how negative and whiney that is.
So I started to look at the way I communicated with her. So before I started a rant or a moan, I would ask myself "Is what I am going to say negative or positive? If its negative, can my W sort it out for me? - If not.. then say nothing.
For example after she now asks how was my week has gone, I say "Pretty standard really, few people/situations annoyed me but but nothing worth wasting my time on. I am looking forward to having a rest this weekend and watching football - how did your week go"?
That change in communication when adapted to fit other situations is the singular thing that my W has identified as the main catalyst for change.
I am a much more pleasurable person to be around. Much more positive, address negative situations there and then and accept and deal with quickly and move on, and talk about the future with a spring in your step and having genuine appreciation for the things you do have rather than the things you lack.
Its easy after so many years to dump your issues/moans etc. on your partner. Its a BIG mistake
