I want you to be happy and healthy You are always miserable You don't take the lead We just aren't compatible.
That sounds pretty concrete to me. Were you always pessimistic and griping to your W about work problems, traffic frustrations, etc.? Really think about that because a lot of us get that way after years and years of being married. We -think- it's OK to dump all our day's crap on our wives, it can be cathartic to us but eventually they start seeing it as us "being miserable all the time". We don't realize that all that negativity is affecting them.
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I asked, what would be the first sign that I was happy and healthy.
Do you see the irony here, that she tells you that you never "take the lead" and your immediate response is to ask her what SHE thinks the first sign of you being happy & healthy would be? Women want their husbands to be leaders. They don't want to have to tell them everything they need to do, because that makes them feel more like a mother than a wife.
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Her response was, "I don't know know what that means to you"
She is right. Can you answer that? What is being happy to you? Answer it without referencing your W or your M. Use that as your frame of reference for some goal-setting.
I get this sense that you (and others here in their own threads) take everything your W says as meaningless garbage. That's probably how you acted in the M too- you didn't respect her. So now here you are, more convinced than ever that she has nothing valuable to say. LISTEN to what she says. Do 180's on the things you can.
