I think maybe you missed the "in a nice way" part. Your approach toward getting your spouse to read anything is up to you. My point is that you have to make something happen. There is no magic, and no way to automagically get someone else to do what you want. In my relationship, I said something to my wife like - "I would really appreciate your reading this book. Parts of it perfectly describe me". Honestly, I probably wasn't that nice, but we were pretty far gone.
I don't think that a HD spouse necessarily has to read the book if the LD spouse is working on the solution, for obvious reasons. I do think it would be a good idea for them to read it regardless.
You can't use SSM or any other book as a hammer, but you certainly do have to press for change in most troubled relationships. In my opinion, most troubled relationships have two guilty parties, at least in part. So it really doesn't matter who stirs things up, as long as the outcome is positive.
I am NOT saying that the end justifies the means, rather that common sense should be brought to bear. In my relationship, I was the one demanding change. Not surprisingly, I changed as much as, or possibly more than my wife.
My point in my previous posts has a simple premise, very similar to "just do it". Any change in a primarily static system requires input. In a relationship, that input is in the form of some type of action.
In your situation, you are the one that has recognized a need and taken action. I was the one that did it in my relationship. Michele's book was the catalyst.
All the best -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
