Hey Chris! You did great. You didn't backtrack at all. What you said on the phone was fair - maybe she was in an emergency and you confirmed she wasn't and then hung up.
Yes, keep this up. She's getting jelly in her knees and now doesn't know what you're upto. I dunno about you, but turning down sex is hard, but you did good.
Just stay the course now. I hope you're feeling more empowered. She's chasing you - that's a good sign that what you're doing is working. Now don't let up on it.
From W ' I'm sorry I've been immature the last week or two. I'm just overwhelmed with emotions and acting out at times and it's not fair, you don't deserve that. '
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
Great. no need to respond. As long as there an OM, you don't need to put up with her. Some people here might say you can validate her right now, but I wouldn't give that advice. Just leave it and go enjoy your weekend.
Cool. Not a bad move at all. Now leave it at that. I suggest read up on the validation cheat sheet again a few times because you'll probably need it a lot where you're at right now.
Not to undermine what you said, but try to mirror her feelings when you validate - trust me, it took me a while to get it right so this is no means a dig on you. I would've said this:
"I understand you're feeling overwhelmed. This is a difficult process".
Now I am going to go enjoy the rest of the day. I hope you are too.
Basically. You're not agreeing with them, you're just reiterating whatever they're feeling. Read up on Wonka's cheat sheet - it has some great gems. Sometimes they won't say what they're feeling, but you can tell they're angry, frustrated, sad etc. Just take a good guess and if they're not feeling that way, they'll tell you.
It's way easier to do it over text than in their face - i've tripped up a couplea times in the beginning when it was face-to-face, but I've become better. I read the cheat sheet every few days to remind myself.
Not much has gone on since the text about her being sorry and my attempt at validation. She texted my on Sunday asking about our lock combination which I just responded with the code and that was it.
I am just having a bad day...a bit down; and can't seem to shake it at the moment.
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
