I think I read that very same article, and like you looked back on that contempt part of it. So was this contempt before crisis, understanding the crisis was most likely in swing 2 years prior to BD. I will be blunt here, you did not deserve any form of contempt,however with all the growth you have done since all this happened, my approach to this and other M issues has been, I allowed certain things to happen. I did not place boundaries and bought into letting her get her way thinking that would make her happy and eventually me happy... see how offbase this logic was now in hindsight? But its so easy to get sucked in. All those DB tools that seemed so counterproductive make so much more sense now and no way would I allow myself to be treated that way.
So chalk it up to MLC along with not having the tools to stop thing from happening. I think early on we all are guilty of rewriting history just as our MLC did .. but more in the positive light. I know I did ... truth is my M was not all that good leading up to BD, part crisis, part me being to much of a nice guy ... lesson learned the absolute hardest way, but my thick skull it had to be this way.
